I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
