The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
