Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
