There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dick very happy bro
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
