I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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