You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
