You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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