her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
