i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
