idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
