she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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