so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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