I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
