if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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