It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have aggressive nipples.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
