Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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