I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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