I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
