Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
