he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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