just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
