After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
