Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
