I don't think brook has ever known best
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
