my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
