tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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