Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he puts the penis in happiness.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
