Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
