i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
