I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
