dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
