he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
