Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
