Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
