Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
only if we run a train.
done.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
