I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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