I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
