Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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