we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
