This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
