How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
