You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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