I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Small penises have feelings too.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
