Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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