Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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