Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This toilet bowl is my home.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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