i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
