Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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