I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
