I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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