are you still at the devil's house?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
