yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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